We feel comfortable when we’re not worried about what to say or how we look.
When you feel free and comfortable, how amazing is that?
I laugh more, relax and enjoy where I am, whatever I’m doing.
So what makes the difference; is it the people we’re with or our environment?
Seems like the answer is yes. We worry about what people think and worry if we said something wrong. Pressure!
It’s the opposite of feeling free and relaxed. Instead, we go right to evaluating everything we said or did.
Then we don’t open up for a while. We want to hide and feel embarrassed. We ask our husbands and best friends: do you think that was OK what I said/did??
Imagine no more lying in bed replaying what you said over and over and questioning if it was OK.
No more waking up in the middle of the night to delete a post you put on social media.
You share your experience and what’s meaningful to you and don’t beat yourself up.
We’re afraid to feel that free because we think that means people won’t like us.
The thing is people already don’t like us. Sometimes we know, and sometimes we don’t know.
But when people don’t like us, it doesn’t hurt us.
If someone doesn’t like you, you don’t feel that.
If someone was talking about you and saying how much they hate your guts, you wouldn’t feel a thing if you didn’t hear it.
While that seems obvious, that means the ‘act of someone not liking you, creates no feelings in your body.’ That’s my very official definition. LOL
So why does it bother us when we hear someone doesn’t like us?
It’s what we make that mean about us.
If someone says, “I don’t like you,” why is that a problem?
You might think:
I have to explain myself.
Something must be wrong with me.
I need to change something about myself.
I knew I wasn’t good enough.
It must be something I did.
….and (insert your answer here).
None of that is true.
People get to think whatever they want.
People get to choose to not like us.
It has to do with what they are thinking and their experience. That’s OK.
That’s their gift to choose.
People get to be wrong about us, and that’s OK.
The empowering thought is:
Can I be OK that they’re wrong about me?
Without trying prove or defend, it’s easier to accept and listen to another’s viewpoint about me even if I don’t agree.
I don’t make them change how they feel.
I get to change how I feel.
That’s the beautiful difference because that’s what we can change – our thoughts about ourselves.
If it seems impossible, that’s OK.
You have incredible value, and guess what, it’s the same value as the person you’re trying to please.
They do not have power over you.
It’s freeing to love people and let them have their thoughts. I love them, and there’s nothing they can do about it. 🙂
This is an awesome gift to give yourself. You are amazing. You can be funny and laugh. You can be quiet if you’re not feeling it sometimes. You can crack jokes even if no one in the room ‘gets its.’
People love that about you, just not everyone. That is OK.
You get to enjoy that part of you fully. That’s what is beautiful and authentic about you. Don’t stop yourself from that beauty because ‘people may not like it.’
When we stop trying to make all the people like us, we enjoy a fuller experience.
That creates a beautiful community of people who love you authentically as a byproduct.
That includes me. What makes you authentic, is what drew us together.