Hello, lovely! I’m Christie Williams, Life Coach for women and Mindset Expert. I am so pumped to be sharing this podcast with you, and I LOVE everything that Hello, Lovely Podcast represents.
As women, we don’t always feel good in our skin. We don’t feel beautiful on the outside, and we don’t feel confident on the inside on the regular. I’m going to help you with both in this podcast.
Hello, Lovely is a reminder that you are lovely, and I truly believe ultimate beauty is from the inside out. So welcome!
I’ll teach you how to feel authentic confidence, manage negative emotions, and stop beating yourself up.
What You’ll Learn on this Episode:
- Your relationship with yourself is a filter for all your other relationships.
- The importance of putting your Oxygen Mask on first.
- What ‘take care of yourself’ really means.
- How genuine confidence counteracts arrogance.
Featured on the Show:
- If you are ready to take this work deeper and work with me one-on-one, join my Genuine Confidence program.
- Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your Hello, Lovely aha! moments!
Host: Welcome to the hello lovely podcast with Christie Williams here. I cannot wait to teach you how to be your authentic self. So you can live a life you love without beating yourself up and feeling stuck. So hang out with me and I will show you exactly how to do that. Let us get started.
Christie Williams: Hey, guys I am so pumped to be sharing this podcast with you. I am Christie Williams and the podcast is called Hello Lovely, and I love everything that Hello Lovely represents. So I want to use this moment to really introduce you to the Hello Lovely Podcast and explain why I called it Hello lovely and why I am so happy to have you here with me on this podcast journey. So as women we do not always feel good in our skin, we do not feel beautiful on the outside, we do not feel confident on the inside on the regular and I am going to help you with both of those things in this podcast. So Hello Lovely is really a reminder that you are lovely and I truly believe ultimate beauty is from the inside out. So the value of creating an amazing relationship with yourself automatically flows to the outside. So instead of being so critical of ourselves and our bodies, we really have an opportunity to feel authentic confidence. And as a result, it really helps to manage our anxiety, create more energy, and helps us stop beating ourselves up so much.
Christie: So the reason I built the podcast is to share the tools and concepts that have helped me and many other women feel great about our bodies and our unique personalities. Because as women we have lots of different emotions and we do not mind sharing the ones that feel fun. We love talking and laughing with people that are laughing with us and enjoying positive emotions and amazing experiences and we feel so open to be able to share those. But when we feel more of the negative emotions, or maybe we are having critical thoughts of ourselves, whether it is our physical bodies or just us as a person, those things we do not want to talk about. And I feel like it is so important to take a look at that from your own self, to take a look at that and see why we are thinking these things about ourselves. Because once we notice that what we are thinking about ourselves, once we notice the critical talk that we have on ourselves and the critical words were saying to ourselves, the more we realize that we can change that. If it feels like you do not like certain things about yourself, but it feels like you are stuck and maybe your judge yourself a lot because you feel like, "Oh, I have not followed through on this or I did not like how I showed up here." It makes you feel stuck when we just kind of like, "Hey, I do not want to look at that." And then we just discount ourselves and we do not feel super valuable.
Christie: So the emotions that we have, the emotions that we feel they do not mean we are weak. Like as a human being as a human woman, we are going to have tons of emotions and sometimes those are negative emotions, but we can really end up reducing our negative emotions when we take a look at the relationship with ourselves because you are a smart creative loving generous woman, I know this about you 100% but it is hard to see that for ourselves when we are criticizing ourselves. So I want to just really express how excited I am to be able to share these tools because there is really a barrier to feeling ourselves. We tend to feel awkward and not know how we can simply feel ourselves authentically when we are being so critical of ourselves. And then what can happen is we may start overeating or we may start over drinking or over buying maybe we are shopping a lot more than we want to, maybe we are watching a lot more TV than we want to because we are trying to hide from those negative feelings we have about ourselves. We are trying to feel better. We are not really sure how to get
get in there and do that.
Christie: And so it is really cool to see that once you are able to have the tools to be able to do that, super clear, super simple, it is amazing how much more energy you have when you stop beating yourself up. So you do not realize how much you do this until you stop doing it because it is very exhausting. Think about this for a moment think about like critical things that we say to ourselves as women. We stink, we are not good enough, someone is better than us, we could not possibly, we will never be able to do it like maybe, "If it comes with goals if we feel like we have not reached a goal, we should have already." We just beat ourselves up all day long, a lot of it is subconscious, it really is exhausting. So you may be feeling stuck and you may feel like, "Gosh, I really do not have a lot of energy. I feel like exhausted all the time." It might be because this is what you are doing. You are being so critical of yourself, like literally imagine someone fighting with you constantly all of the time. "You are not good enough, you stink, why are you not better?" If it was someone else you would be like, "Stop it, get away from me like I am not gonna listen to this." But when it is ourselves, we are not answering it, we do not naturally have the tools to be able to notice it and call it out for what it is and we just feel exhausted, right?
Christie: So when you know how to stop doing that or at least greatly reduce it all of the sudden you have more energy and goals become more clear and you are thinking, "Oh, I know what I want to do. I know what would be super cool. I know it is super important to me. Now, I have the energy to do it." And another amazing benefit is you end up having even better relationships because you are able to show up more as yourself. So like because picture this like when we are beating ourselves up and thinking or ugly or a failure we may try to force feeling confident because remember you are a smart, amazing, woman. You do have goals and you are killing it every day, you are working or you have a family, you are getting things done. So you want to show up so what may happen is we try to force feeling confident. It is coming from the most genuine place, we want to feel confident so we have the energy and the follow-through. But when we force feeling confident, it has the exact opposite effect so we feel more insecure because we do not feel authentic. So we feel like I am not feeling myself and we do not feel authentic and then question everything we say or do like, "What did I say? What did I do? What was I doing with my eyes? How was I moving my body?" We become so conscious of our body language and the words out of our mouth that we have totally stepped out of being authentic and what we would consider being ourselves.
Christie: So that is why when we may come back home and we are thinking about what we say, what we do, or how we are in social settings, or maybe we are thinking we are awkward. It is because we are questioning our value, we are being critical of ourselves subconsciously, we are trying to show up confident by forcing it with the best motives, but we have created this insecurity, and so we have just stepped out a feeling authentic. So it feels terrible when this happens and then we kind of miss out on enjoying each of those beautiful experiences like you may be able to look back on some of those experiences and think, "I could have enjoyed that a little more if I was not being so critical of myself." Right, is that the case for you? Because you can enjoy your beautiful life fully when you are not being so critical of yourself because you are more of your authentic self. When you are being yourself and you feel like you are comfortable and you are fully being yourself and you do not feel awkward you are usually enjoying your experiences more, right?
Christie: So it feels terrible to be critical of yourself and forcing confidence because we miss out on enjoying our beautiful life fully and we are constantly judging ourselves and trying to be someone else but if you could really, really be your authentic self with genuine confidence. So confidence in yourself and confidence in your priorities and your decisions and have lots of love for others and more energy to create the results you want. Would you want to be someone else and the answer is no you just want to be yourself and know exactly how to do that every day. So there will be lots of juicy goodies in this podcast over the weeks to come and I will teach you how to really be yourself and live a life you love. Because those goes to live a life you love maybe creating new results for yourself. Maybe it is losing weight, maybe it is changing jobs, maybe it is getting organized, maybe it is being more consistent, maybe it is keeping things simple. Sometimes a goal we have is just really to kind of simplify our lives but whatever the goal is, it is harder to accomplish when you are super critical of yourself.
Christie: So I am so glad you are here and it is my hope that this podcast really inspires you and makes you feel good and confident, but even more I hope that it inspires you to apply the tools so you can really see the results for yourself personally. That is when you will really see a big difference in the way you view yourself and the relationship you have with yourself. We really spend hardly any time looking at the relationship we have with ourselves and really the relationship we have with our self is the filter for all other relationships. So this might be hard for some of us to really connect with, we may think, "I do not want to spend time on my relationship with myself, it is selfish" but there is a difference. I want you to really think about this there is a difference between being selfish and taking care of yourself. We always throw that saying around especially with people we love and we really mean it. We will say, "Take care of yourself." We encourage each other to do it because we know it is valuable, but what does that really mean? I like to think of the example of putting your oxygen mask on first. So most of you know what I am talking about just when I say put your oxygen mask on first but really this is about when you are on a plane and you are about to take off they give you tons of instruction and they are telling you these instructions because they are important, they can save your life and they are valuable. So what happens is one of these instructions is if you lose cabin pressure in the plane, oxygen masks will drop down and you are instructed to put your oxygen mask on first before assisting anyone else.
Christie: So why do they instruct us to put our oxygen mask on first? Well picture people running around on the plane trying to put oxygen masks on other people, total chaos. Can you imagine this? Everyone s flying from their seats with the best intentions to help others but then they have not realized that they cannot breathe. And what do you think is going to happen, are they going to pass out or die when you think about this particular scenario. But what do you think happens when everyone listens to that instruction, to put your mask on first by the time you put your mask on everyone else has put their masks on too? So valuable, so then if anyone still needs help, it is very clear at that point very clear. Because they are probably saying, "Help me?" Right and then we can really help people who need help after we put our mask on first, right? Can we really help someone if we have passed out, right? Like it is comical to think about because we are not on a plane, we are not in this situation, but it really goes to show how taking care of yourself in this way is not selfish. So even with the principle to love your neighbor as yourself, which is such a valuable principle, love your neighbor as yourself.
Christie: So if you do not care about or love yourself, how will you treat others? So really think about this, you guys, if you do not care about yourself or love yourself, how will you treat others? So we can show up even better for others when we value ourselves that is going to overflow onto our relationships with other people because creating a strong relationship with yourself creates unconditional love for others. We are not so defensive or trying to prove ourselves to someone because we already know the value that we have equally like all of us have that amazing value when you do not love yourself or think you do not matter, you do feel like you have to prove yourself which feels so uncomfortable. And there is a difference between having an authentic conversation being yourself and then feeling insecure enforcing confidence. Like think about even for you what that feels like even when it is genuine. So even when you genuinely want to show up as yourself not knowing how to do that and having those subconscious, critical thoughts. You just really even notice at yourself, you are like, "I am not myself today, yes?"
Christie: So the amazing thing is that we may really want to show up for others and help and be liked by others and just genuinely from our hearts want to have amazing relationships with others. But when you do not have that strong relationship with yourself, or have a very critical conversation with yourself daily inside your own brain, it is a block to feeling yourself and it is a reason why we do feel awkward out of place sometimes. So I cannot wait to share all these tools with you to help you with that, it is so good. So let us talk a little bit about that authentic confidence, so true confidence is seeing the value of everyone including yourself not defensive or pushy. You value yourself and others genuinely, so there is not a competition there. Women sometimes fear the word confidence because they do not want to have arrogance but arrogance is the complete opposite of genuine confidence. Arrogance is feeling superiority over others. So having genuine authentic confidence counteracts arrogance because every woman, every single woman has the ability to have authentic confidence.
Christie: And I want you to have that amazing relationship with yourself so it will overflow into amazing relationships with other people in your family and friends and job and so much more. So are you ready to put your oxygen mask on? We all need one trust me. And I am so excited to share this journey with all of you amazing ladies in the coming weeks. So enjoy this beautiful week ahead of you and I will see you guys next time.
Host: Hey, if you are ready to feel genuine confidence, I invite you to work with me one-on-one. I help women manage negative emotions, stop beating themselves up and live a life they love because when you have genuine confidence you have the energy to do what is important to you and the tools to create new results. Join me at mschristiewilliams.com to find out more, that is mschristiewilliams.com and I will see you inside.