Ep #60 – Less Worry, More Calm
Calm helps you be more clear and alert without being on ‘high’ alert.
What You’ll Learn on this Episode:
- Where worry comes from.
- How to practice more calm.
- The benefits of swapping worry for calm.
Featured on the Show:
- Work with Christie one-on-one.
- Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your favorite Hello, Lovely moments!
Ep #60 - Less Worry, More Calm
Welcome back. Today I am sharing such a fun topic. I love when clients start learning this one and seeing the differences in the day. Less Worry, More Calm. So good.
One client I was talking to today was afraid that she would lose control and become complacent if she was calm. Or if she doesn’t worry about things, she’ll lose control.
She shared such a common feeling. So if this is speaking to you, this is just the beginning of this juicy goodness today.
Think about the benefits of being calm. ahhhh. Calm is a clear mind, focus, more creative, enjoying what you’re working on, available to others. Like you can just picture yourself, just going through your day without pressure and problems. It’s a nice baseline for being a human.
It’s such a good feeling that it might be an obstacle for you to feel it fully. So say what now?
Yes, women I work with experience guilt for feeling good emotions where they are relaxed, refreshed, or calm, as if calm means they should be doing more. Emotions where they are relaxed, refreshed, and calm as if calm. Without awareness of this, you may purposely give yourself more to do or worry about simply because feeling calm feels too good. It’s not easy to spot, but now that we’ve called it out.
Here’s the best news about that: That skill of overworking, pressure, and worry was learned. It was trained from your environment. So you can learn and train yourself to approach things differently.
It is OK to feel calm. Permission to feel calm.
So let’s compare worry with calm, shall we? At this time to see them together to explore them together.
Worry feels useful (if you’ve developed this skill) particularly if you learned to worry about things from a young age. It might feel necessary to be ‘alert.’ Like having worry makes you more alert. In fact, people that frequently worry (usually because they developed this skill set of worry) want others to be worried with them. “You should be worried about this. “ or “ Aren’t you worried about this”?”
No. I’m not. LOL Worry doesn’t make you more clear about a situation. That comes from thinking that if you’re not worried you ‘haven’t fully thought it through.’ Which is just not a fact. Initially, worry can introduce a situation or scenario that might occur. Might be like the first time you haven’t heard of before. But once you’ve had a moment to consider it, worry no longer serves any purpose except to drain your energy and cause you to overthink. Two things that aren’t optimal when you want to make a clear decision and start working towards new habits.
This is why it happens: Your brain learned worry was necessary to ‘stay on track.’ So if you want to stay on track, especially with some new goals for yourself, your automatic reaction to things may be to worry first. THIS is not a problem. Acknowledge that you feel worried, and that’s OK. But It’s alright to feel calm.
This will take practice, but you will start feeling more calm. You’ll notice the urge to be worried. It’s OK. You don’t have to run it out of town. You don’t have to say ‘get out of here worry.’ Acknowledge it’s there, and it’s OK. It’s just not going to be running the show. It’s not necessary. It’s just going to drain you and wear you out.
For the next example, step outside yourself and think about your bestie. Picture her going through the day as usual. Will she have more energy to be on track with her goals if she is worried a lot through the day or calm?
Will she make clearer decisions from worry or calm?
At the end of the day, will she feel more refreshed from worrying more or feeling calm?
So overall it comes down to permission. Permission to feel calm. If you’ve been carrying a thought around with you that “ you should be worried about this,” that’s not a fact. It’s optional.
Picture yourself more calm throughout your day. Your body is not exhausted. Your mind is not exhausted because it hasn't had to hold on to worry. It’s kinda like being on high alery all day long. You don’t have to be on high alert all day long. You can be alert when you’re calm. It helps you being alert without being on high alert. You’re available and clear to make decisions and support yourself through the day in your goals and plans.
It’s simple and easy to say no to things that won’t work for you, and yes to things that you have space for that line up with the big picture.
Are you open to feeling more calm? It’s going to change how you feel on a daily basis. Like not just emotionally or physically or need comfort in foods a lot or need to get away. It’s likely you are carrying around worry with you, and it feels necessary.
There are times when an emergency happen. Then you will be worried. Even then you can decide if you want to stay in worry or be in calm. There’s no wrong answer here. But you have the option, and I want you to know that. I remember the difference of going through an emergency feeling worry and calm, and the difference was with calm, initially with both I was on high alert. But as soon as I was aware of what was going on, I no longer needed to stay in worry. And the difference with calm is I had more energy and clarity to make decisions. Imagine that on a larger scale in the day to day. It’s such a difference and it is available for you, no matter your age.
This work is close to my heart and so fun to be a part of. So if this connected with you, and you want to feel more calm and less worry and reach some goals you’ve been holding back on, let’s work together. It takes a skillset to have less worry and more calm, so you’re not doing it wrong. There simply are some new skills to practice to let some of that worry go and be more clear and calm and confident, aka yourself.
Go to mschristiwilliams.com and book a free Clarity Call to start working with me 1:1.
Have a great week