I thought I wasn’t good enough.
I lost weight and gained it back so many times that I lost count.
Every time I started I was genuine and really was ‘all-in’ for results. The amount of time that I lasted varied, but inevitably, I’d get overwhelmed, disappointed in myself, frustrated with the process, or some combination of those things and then quit.
I’d be embarrassed. The thought of starting again was way in the back of my mind, but it wasn’t going to happen for a while.
Then the cycle would start again. I’d be embarrassed to start again though. I’d wonder what everyone was thinking and if they were judging whether I was capable of it – for reals this time.
That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself. But that’s just it.
It was all pressure I was putting on myself.
Regardless of what people thought, or said, or judged, or whatever, it didn’t matter until I put some value on it.
What made all of that seem so weighty was that I was judging myself first.
When you judge yourself first, then, of course, it feels like others are judging too.
Our brains get used to things and starts doing them really well.
Sometimes it’s the self-doubt it gets good at.
Breaking that cycle takes time, but more valuable than that, it takes a little love and patience in yourself. That’s right, lovely – love for yourself.
That ‘montra’ gets thrown around quite a bit, but what I mean when I say it is: It’s OK to start again. It’s OK to feel not good enough sometimes. It’s OK to give yourself a moment to regroup. It’s OK to give yourself an opportunity to change, to grow.
That’s a lot longer! LOL – See why I just said ‘Love for Yourself’ first. 🙂
Anyway, this is what I’m offering to you as an option.
Don’t judge yourself by the past. It’s not even starting over if you decide to go forward with something you’ve tried before. It’s just moving forward with the journey.
Everything you’ve learned from what you’ve already tried is most definitely going to teach you something you can use as you go forward.
Now that I’ve lost the weight, it’s not the scale that’s a victory. It’s the experience.
The person you become on your journey to your goals is sometimes even more beautiful than the goal itself.
You got this, lovely.