Ep. #11 – Confidence In Your Decisions
We all have a decision making process. It’s an automatic way your brain chooses things. So it’s helpful to know what that process is.
Life is full of mini decisions everyday. You can create a decision making process where you have more energy and clarity instead of pressure and regret.
When you are confident in your decisions, you don’t miss out.
What You’ll Learn on this Episode:
- We have a subconscious decision making process.
- What it means when you refer to yourself as indecisive or impulsive.
- The benefits of being confident in your decisions.
Featured on the Show:
- Pasta Bella – one of my fav Italian restaurants
- If you are ready to take this work deeper and work with me one-on-one in my 6-month program.
- Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your favorite Hello, Lovely moments!
Ep. #11 - Confidence in Your Decisions
REVIEW: Love this podcast!
Christie is an amazing coach! I absolutely love this podcast — so many golden nuggets just in the first episode and so excited for future ones!
So we are completing a series on this episode - Confidence Series
What is confidence?
Each of us have a decision making process. It’s an automatic way your brain chooses things. So it is SOOO helpful to know what that process is, and if you didn’t know you had one, you may be surprised with where and how it shows up for you.
Let’s talk about what happens when you DON’T have confidence in your decisions.
I think a great example of this is going to a restaurant and not knowing what to order.
It’s a small example, but it makes the point really well.
Picture the scene, your at one of your favorite restaurants, Pasta Bella, is the one I’m thinking of. They have a huge menu.you could order anything, and it would be delicious, but you’re worried about making the right choice. You picked out what you wanted, but then you heard someone else is getting it at your table, oh gosh, you have to pick something else, because someone else is ordering that. You’ve asked the waiter to wait a couple times, asked his suggestions, and pick something - the steak please. As soon as he walks away, you regret your decision. Aye! AW man, I should've ordered the other thing.
Your order comes and while nothing is wrong with it, you can’t help but think about the other item you should've asked for.
Familiar? If this has happened to you or something flavor of this, it’s a reflection of not having confidence in your decisions.
This could show up in ordering items on Amazon, regretting it, and returning. Going shopping, buying items, regretting it and returning, starting a program/business, feeling pressure, regretting it and backing out, starting a job, feeling pressure, regret it, want to change it,
This is an example of what I call the pre/pressure - post/regret cycle of decision.
There is a lot of consideration and pressure to make the RIGHT decision beforehand, so in your brain you go back and forth making sure you pick correctly. Once the decision is made, you still question if it was the right one (even though you spent a lot of time deciding) and regret your choice.
This usually shows up as: I made the wrong choice
I picked the wrong one.
I should've done ..blank (something else).
As we pause here to reflect on how this may be showing up, notice how many times you have historically told yourself - That was a great decision. Probably not a lot.
After taking a look at her decision making pattern, one client realized that she does this all the time. She did more work on her thinking (interview with yourself), and found that at her core, she believes she is a PERSON who makes bad decisions . Not in some things - as a PERSON - this is her identity. She had no idea - so OF COURSE she feels pressure when she is making a decision, she doesn’t think at her core she can make decisions that aren’t wrong, AND she’s going to regret it afterwards.
Now I want you to think about how many times a day, we make decisions. IT”S ALL DAY LONG.
What to eat, what to wear, what to say, what to do, who to call, what to pay, what to buy, what to watch, alllllllll daaaaaayyyyy longggg. So if this is your decision making process, how much energy and pressure is consuming her life? A LOT.
That was the case for this lovely client. She would wake up already regretting decisions about the day before or that day (didn’t get up early enough, etc.), and be exhausted. This had been part of a subconscious pattern she wasn’t aware of.
She thought she was feeling regret because it WAS a bad decision over and over.. BUT she was actually feeling regret because of her judgement process after making decisions. YOU see the difference. So instead of enjoying the meal she DID pick at the restaurant and tasting every bite, her mind was focused on the regret of something else, causing her to miss out. SHe wasn’t missing out because she made a bad decision, she was missing out because of her JUDGEMENT of this decision.
WHEW. So imagine how much more time and energy she can has now that she is aware of this pattern. IT TAKES practice, but once you have the step by step process to do this, you get to enjoy what you choose, you actually KNOW what you want, you validated that, and you can move on to the next thing.
Confidence in your decisions is the OPPOSITE of indecision or impulse decision. So if you think an impulse decision means you know what you want, take a looksy. When you are confident in your decisions, you don’t refer to them as impulsive no matter how fast you decide. Just notice that.
It reveals a little bit of judgement on the decision process, when you label yourself as indecisive or impulsive.
So I invite you to do this fun process. How do YOU make decisions??? Whaaaa?? Super fun.
Let your brain spin on that one. At first you’ll probably say I don’t know. Do I HAVE a way I make decisions?
But explore it a little further, and you will start seeing a pattern.
It really is a fun process to take a look at, and it really tells you a lot about the results you have or want.
Confidence in your decisions means you KNOW how to decide. You know Exactly what you want to do. You choose on purpose, you enjoy the selection, you work towards it without changing it all the time, and when only when something didn’t go to plan, do you step back, evaluate and adjust.
Instead of judging every single decision you make (which is all day), your mind is super clear from the extra energy and clarity you have that you can see when an adjustment needs to be made, and you can evaluate and adjust it to move forward without beating yourself up with the judgy stick.
Take a moment to think of the overall impact of that.
What would that look like for you to be confident in your decisions? Knowing exactly what you want, no pressure in decision, no regret afterwards, adjusting when needed, moving forward.
It changes everything. You have more time and less confusion.Clients constantly share how much energy they have once they saw their pattern of pressure/regret.
If you want to take this work deeper, I invite you to work with me one-on-one in my 6-month program PRIORITIES, YOURSELF, AND DECISIONS. Because when you can do those things, you can be yourself which is a beautiful thing..
Have a great week, guys.
See you soon.