Comfort during Chaos

Hi lovelies, as things change around us, we are flooded with feelings.

Last week I was traveling. I got to people watch at the airport. Everything was calm. People were so friendly and engaging. There was the longest line to wash hands that I had ever seen. It was beautiful.

In the midst of some of the advisories provided, I adjusted my trip by a day and came home.

During the trip, I got to people watch at the airport and on planes. I had my own thoughts around the trip and the advisories that caused concern.

It’s totally normal to be concerned and feel unsure, worried, curious, anxious, and even panic when we start hearing about something at this level. 

I was evaluating everything and could see how my mind wanted to go to worst case scenarios. 

I want to offer some things that have been helpful that I hope will be useful tools and ideas for you as we experience changes to our schedules and hear of current events.

What’s amazing about our brains is that part of their design is to look for danger. This is a good thing.

The brain is smart and has a default protection mode. I like to describe it as a cat’s reflex when it hears a noise or sees something move out of the corner of it’s eye.

It’s an automatic response to look towards the danger and be ready to run the heck away from it. Believe me – this is useful. It’s a good thing that our brains have this. You wouldn’t want a tiger running at you and not feel anything. 

But because of this design to look out for what is dangerous, our brains also focus in on it. This can become our main focus – our only focus, and we can become consumed with the feelings of danger, fear, and panic.

Whatever you are feeling right now, have compassion for yourself. Take the deep breath through whatever emotion you are feeling. There is a lot of change, and our brains don’t like that either.

What I want to offer you today is not that you avoid feeling fear or pretend things aren’t happening but instead empower you with how our brains work, so you have the option to decide when you want to focus on something else, that you can.

Our actions are directed by the emotions we have. This is why when we aren’t motivated, we usually don’t get up and start something. When we feel excited, we are fueled by that emotion and get moving.

Fear is an emotion too. When we feel fear, we act from that place too. What I want to offer you is that it is also OK to feel calm.

It doesn’t mean you don’t care about what facts are happening. It just means that you have the ability to be calm and as a result, the decisions you want to take will be purposeful and you can have your back on them.

A decision from fear might be different from making a decision from calm. Some might think that fear moves us to the action that’s best. Maybe. That’s for each of us to decide.

But the beautiful option we have with our human brain is that we can create calm and choose what we want as our focus.

One reason the current events are causing so much suffering mentally is because it is the only area of focus. 

For every hour of news, make sure you get an hour of refreshment – at least. Remember how the brain works. Your brain needs the break. Your brain is creating the thoughts and emotions, but you get the effects of how that feels, so you need the break too.

Become aware of what standards you want to use to be smart and safe, and also keep your mind healthy with the beauty of things that are also still going on. 

What we think creates how we feel

When we want to feel fear, it’s ours to feel. But it’s not selfish to feel calm. It’s OK to feel positive and calm mixed with moments of fear. It’s not a disrespectful to the current facts. It’s human. 

I’ll be providing tips and help for all you lovelies as we go though the next days, weeks, and months.

I want to help as much as possible.

If you are stuck and need to talk about this, I am here for you. 

Your mind is valuable, and getting coached will help you reset and decide purposefully. Coaching also helps you feel any emotion that you’re experiencing, even fear. Fear doesn’t have to make us powerless.

Here are some tips that can help:
Decide the amount of time you want to focus on current events. For every hour that you listen to the new (or google it), spend time thinking or listening to something that refreshes you.
Have your back. People may try and engage you to panic or change your actions, or run to get toilet paper. You can be purposeful and make your decisions from a calm mind.
Allow your emotions. Our thoughts can create fear, and that’s OK. You can handle fear. Don’t judge yourself for feeling uncomfortable during this time. It’s not weakness. It’s human.
It’s OK to feel calm. I love the example to put our oxygen mask on first. (if you’ve been on a plane, you know what I mean :-). Take time to refresh your mind. Think about things that are going right. There are still many beautiful things around you. Look at the sky. Watch a sunset. Hug your loved one. Take a breath. You are doing this right.

I love you all and send my love to you as we go through this together.
See you soon, lovely.