Boundaries

Ep #35 - Boundaries

Hi beautiful, welcome back.

This episode is going to be a lot of fun. It’s a nice quick one. I’m going to talk about what boundaries are, how we use them in my program, what it doesn’t require of other people (hmmm so interesting), and how you honor the boundary.

OK, let’s get right into it.

So a boundary is something you set that YOU will do or not do. It’s a decision to be in integrity with your values and preferences. You can tell people your boundaries or just know them in your mind and keep them unspoken. You can set any boundaries, but I’ll tell you, when you set them out of love, they are a lot easier to honor. We’ll talk about that more in a minute.

When a boundary is set because you’re mad at someone, that’s cool and your business, but it’s not what I”m talking about here. These boundaries are decided out of love. They are with a purpose to protect something that matters to you that you can control. They’re different from rules or punishment.

Here’s an example of what is not a boundary. Telling someone they have to take the trash bag out, or they won’t get snuggles from you. LOL What?! That’s not a boundary?? You can ask people to do things, but if they don’t comply because people get to decide what they want to do, they haven’t crossed a boundary. I love the trash bag scenario because that’s a rule I had for my hubby back in the day. It’s HIS JOB to do it. That is more of a rule and expectation.

A boundary is set for yourself. For example:If you don’t work on Monday nights because that is set aside for personal study, relaxing, family time, whatever, your boundary is that YOU will say no to work or a work opportunity. People can ask. You don’t have to stop them from asking or make them accommodate another day. Your boundary is to honor saying no.

That’s why it matters what boundaries you want to put in place. When it’s not consistent, is it really a boundary? We’ll use the same one for example sake. So let’s say you set the boundary, let it be known that Monday is a no work night. Then you’re asked several times and choose not to honor your boundary here and there, it won’t have the impact a boundary stands for. It’s an in the moment decision which minimizes the purpose and importance of the boundary.

Here’s another example: You may set a boundary to not accept any plans on the fly. You set the boundaries because you were overcommitting. That was not because people asked you to do things but because you said yes to all of them. Your bournday is not that people need to stop asking you , but that YOU will think about it, get back to them, or say no. All of which are totally cool. But no one crosses your boundary by asking.

Boundaries, pretty simple. They are actions you take to honor them. Make them from love. Have your back. Enjoy.

Love you ladies. Have a great week. See you next time.