Ep #22 – Authentic Relationships
Forcing someone to be your friend drives a wedge between you.
What You’ll Learn on this Episode:
- People pleasing isn’t authentic.
- We can have authentic relationships if even people aren’t our friends.
- You can feel authentic no matter where you are.
Featured on the Show:
- Want to stop beating yourself up and have your back? Work with me one-on-one.
- Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your favorite Hello, Lovely moments!
Episode #22 - Authentic Relationships
I’m recording this podcast a couple weeks early because I’m taking next week off. Whoop, whoop. One of the benefits of being an entrepreneur. You get to set your schedule. It’s so fun. Being a CEO is super fun. If you’re thinking of being an entre or have just started, congrats and have fun! You get to love it.
It was my goal to help my clients and see women have a great relationship with themselves and their emotions, and also create a business where I can do the same. Have a great relationship with myself. Taking the hustle OUT of my business, so more energy and focus goes to my client.
The hustle part is always optional. If you’ve just started a business, tell me all about it on insta @mschristiewilliams. I get so excited about female entrepreneurs joining the ranks, and I want to cheer you on. Congrats.
OK so how appropriate then is today’s topic on Authentic Relationships. You have more lasting, non-drama relationships when they are authentic in life and in business.
The authentic part comes from you. That’s such good news because we can remove the people pleasing and trying to make someone be our friend.
Trying to get someone to like you drives a wedge between you instead of making you closer. Closer doesn’t mean always texting, always checking in, always getting together. It’s an ease, authentic connection where you can be yourself and you give the other person to do the same. It’s so good.
Trying to make someone your friend is not authentic. That’s kinda of a mythbuster I want to talk about. You can treat people with love and understanding even if you’re not friends. So the pressure to make someone your friend is off.
There is a fear that if someone doesn’t want to be our friend, there is a problem. Not always the case. Everybody likes different things, people including. Let’s take the beach for example. I LOVE the beach. I think it’s beautiful. I love the sand, the sunsets, the waves, everything about it. It’s beautiful, but you know what. Some people hate it. Is it the fault of the ocean and sand? Is it wrong for someone not to like it? No to both. There’s not a problem on either side. It’s what you like.
Sometimes people won’t like us. They’ll have reasons and sometimes they won’t have reasons. We just might not be there. Can we be OK with that? Can we let them be wrong about us? Can it be OK? When you do those relationships can be authentic too even if you’re not besties.
You can still love them. That’s what love really is. It crosses friendship and other relationships. It’s understanding people like different things, and when you truly value yourself, cherish the values you have, and value other people’s lives, there isn’t pressure to force someone else to do something or agree with you. Literally is the gift of free will. We share authentically what’s valuable to us. We live as an example of what we love, and sometimes people will connect to that. Like a magnet. It’s so cool. You know what I’m saying. There’s a connection there. You both don’t need each other to do things. You just love to be around them, think of them, whatever.
You don’t always agree, but you don’t feel like you have to convince them too either. It makes for the best relationships.
We can’t control other people, and we don’t have to in order for us to be authentic. Being authentic means that you don’t pretend you’re happy when you’re not. You allow yourself to feel the emotions you have taking your response - ability for them with love. It’s like you get to live in your life when you use your response ability as a tool. It’s a byproduct of when you have a supportive relationship with yourself. Putting your oxygen mask on, understand your emotions, not blocking your emotions with food, drinks, or shopping, but listening to yourself when you have something to say or something to feel.
Women can have a great relationship with their emotions, not just the positive ones. You can have your back through any emotion which allows you not to be stuck in them.
If you’re hearing this and thinking that would be nice but….there’s not buts, really. You can.
It’s not elusive, its a simple process you put into practice. You build trust in your follow through, and you know you’ve got you no matter what emotion you feel. THAT rolls over into your other relationships because the relationship with yourself is a filter for every other one you have. Work with me one on one, and get that for yourself.
That makes some authentic connections. You don’t force someone to feel a different emotion. You don’t try to ‘fix them.’ If they don’t want to feel better, you let them feel. It becomes more natural and authentic when you’ve allowed yourself to do the same thing.
I’m changing the game in the emotional world for women. You can have a better relationship with your negative emotion - for real. As a result, you’ll have more authentic relationships.
Want to take this work deeper, go to www.mschristiewilliams.com